I lost my phone, and it was fine.
Really, it was TOTALLY fine!
I was at an outdoor circus meetup with well-over 100 (maybe even 200+) people present by the time I realized that I didn’t have my phone. Half the people were there to participate, and half were there to spectate. It was dark, there was a lot going on, and the last place I left my phone was already cleared of the other items that surrounded it, protecting it from being alone and unclaimed. I didn’t realize my phone was missing until I got into my car, so I went back with my wonderful friend to search for it. Tried all sorts of methods to find it, and ultimately gave up.
Something I realized during the near-impossible search was my emotional state: I was in total calmness. It was as if I was just looking for a rock that I thought was cool but couldn’t find it. There was no difference, emotionally. My phone was officially just another “thing.” I knew it was probably gone, that either someone had taken it with intentions to return it, or with intentions not to return it. Though I had a preference for the first circumstance, I was indifferent if it ended up being the latter.
This was pleasantly surprising to me, and rather gratifying to see evidence of my emotional and mental health growth that I’ve been working so hard for over the last year.
The key to attachment issues is not the attachment itself, but the ability to DE-TACH from attachments. Imagine not ever developing any attachments to anything. You’d be living carelessly. You would never have any friends. You would never develop depth in relationships. So attachments are important. But practice detachment as well. Some monks will practice this by making beautiful art out of sand, and then cleaning it up shortly afterward.
You can practice it by either giving away things you might have some type of attachment to, like clothes (one of my friends holds a regular clothing exchange that I regularly participate in, giving me the opportunity to practice that, declutter, and get some “new” clothes). You can also make something and give that away, too, like art, non-art projects, baked goods, etc. You can detach from time by giving that away to a good cause, like helping out a friend or charity. Detach from money by giving some to charity or buying things for people.
So yes, I lost my phone and had to replace it. What do I choose to see the event as? An opportunity to prove that my hard work has paying off. Diamonds in the rough are always hidden. You have to brush off the dirt to see the sparkle.
Attach, appreciate, detach, further appreciate.
Best in Health & Happiness,